I’ve always hated competitions.
And playing any games that had competition in it (that means, all games?).
In my experience, people always cheated to win…
I didn’t want to cheat = I’m not a winner.
I know that’s a very peculiar and lame point of view to have, but it is what it is… (this is the think about our inner narratives, they dictate our reality and they are not even interesting enough)
What I didn’t know is how much impact this tiny insignificant POV had on my life.
- I didn’t enter giveaways because I was going to lose anyway.
- I was a person with “no luck”… for anything.
- I always discarded myself first, before anyone else could do it.
And in everyday things… I just didn’t risk enough, because what was the point?
I was always playing small… small steps to not lose the game, but never with the belief that I could play to win, because, in my mind, I would never.
In the book “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” T Harv Eker shares this message:
“I commit to being rich. Failure is not an option. I will be rich or I will die trying.”
I remember reading that affirmation and being so struck… the only thought that came to my mind was: Shit, I would never be rich. I could not even say it out loud. Because that narrative was so far away from my own… that it seemed impossible. And if I couldn’t say it I couldn’t act like it or believe it either. Of course, I would keep spending all the money that I made…
I’m not a winner, I’m not lucky…
Of course, I don’t find a parking spot near the entrance because I’m expecting not to.
Of course, my name doesn’t come in the giveaway because I’m expecting it not to.
Of course, things don’t go my way because they have never gone my way before…
Until…
They did.
I do find a parking spot just at the front door.
I do win giveaways that I enter when I want them with my whole heart.
Things go my way like serendipity, like destiny, like they were MEANT for me…
This sounds like wishful thinking… like I’m making things up. It can look that way because you are seeing the before and after and not the messy middle in between me… the forever looser to me… the main lead character of the movie.
All I did was change that inner narrative… that being a winner was being a person who tricks other people.
It was not easy.
And once I changed that story… started the really fun part:
The showing up to life making BIG moves, taking risks, going ALL IN on things… Committing to becoming it because I will do it or die trying. (this didn’t start with the being-rich identity… that’s too far-fetched to me… at least at that moment, not now :P); it started with becoming the most authentic version of myself.
That commitment to play BIG in life, to say yes to my soul calling… to say no to all that I’ve learned to be, to do, until that point to fit into places I didn’t should’ve tried to fit in the first place.
And playing BIG is scary… but it is so much more rewarding than playing life not to lose.
Not to lose the relationship, not to lose the money, not to lose the opportunity… without realizing that in playing like that, we do not win the love, the purpose, the lessons…
So my question to you is… How are you playing?
Are you playing small and safe? Or are you willing to lose it all to win more than you can imagine?
005/100
